Yep.

Hello

there's lots to tell you, but technically i can't. but i could be in trouble with a certain person.. that's all i'm saying..

Yours with worry,
Hannah xxx

mocks

Hello

mocks. they're so boring. i could die.

and i'm in trouble.
not with mocks, but with something else.

pffffft.

Yours with annoyance,
Hannah xxx

oh dear.

Hello

dilema. who wants to listen?

shitshitshit mannn.

Yours with worry,
Hannah xxx

Tired tbh.

Hello

Mocks.
tbh, they're arse holes.

i'm soooo tiredddd!

NEW MOON IS OUT FRIDAY :D:D


Yours in unsureness,
Hannah xxx

This is the real me.

Hello

It's been a few weeks since I've been getting these feelings. The feelings where everything's going wrong. The feelings where all I want to do is curl up in in ball in the corner and die. That'd be the life, wouldn't it? I can't even talk about this with Connor, or any of my friends. I act all happy and normal on the outside, when all I really want to do is scream. It's those small things that build up on top of each other that hurt the most. Argument with the parents or boyfriend. A disagreement of opinions. A grade that you weren't happy with. They all add up. I'm the ugliest person alive in this entire world, I'm fat and I NEED to lose weight. That may be what every girl thinks, but seriously, i HATE the way I look. It makes me sick. Thing is, if I told my friends about it, they'd all say 'Hannah, we all get stressed. it's cos of the mocks', and yes, the mocks may not be helping atm, but they're not the things that are most on my mind. I didn't want to write all this up on the computer, but there's nothing else I can do to explain how I feel. I feel like my insides have been ripped out. Like there's nothing in this world left to live for. Don't get me wrong, my friends are AMAZING. I love them like nothing else in this world, but I just hate what goes on around and outside of school. At home. With Connor. Like I said; everything adds up. I'm not some stupid girl who's just gonna go and commit suicide at any chance, don't be silly. But I do like to get my anger out. I tend to do it by being mad at people who I shouldn't be mad at; mainly Connor. But he doesn't deserve it all, tbh. And when I argue with people it just makes me more annoyed and more pissed off. Truth is, I'm sure there are a lot of people who have been through this, and I know I didn't explain fully what was wrong with me in this, but hey. I know what I'm talking about, even if you don't.
I'm going to have to think of another way of letting out my anger, without committing suicide or having a go at other people.

Yours ...
Hannah xxx

Ideas.

Hello

Since my great grandmother passed away almost 3 months ago, I've been thinking that I need to do something to remember her by. We have her old piano now, so I thought it best that i should learn to play. I've been thinking of this for a while, but never realy had the balls to start, but now I'm going to. I have to. For her. She used to love the piano, and now I'm going to make her smile wherever she is. I owe her that much.

I love you Nanan. You're always in my heart and I'm so proud to have been part of your family.

Yours with love,
Hannah xxx

Blog. a blog is a place to share feelings.. okay.

Hello

fine. i'll share my feelings. But i don't know how.

I have hate, love, passion, anger, stress, annoyance, betrayal, sickness and determination going on in my mind right now.

Tbh, nothing ever works out the way it seems.

I don't know when love ever stops hurting. When decisions ever get easier to make. I know that everything that's going wrong at the moment will get better some day, but I just don't know when.

I don't know when relationships between friends will be realized for what they really are. When love between a couple can die away. How to end something that's been going on for such a long time, which you never want to end, but you know it has to.

I don't know if any of this makes any sense.. probably not. Or whether anyone's going to read it and take any notice. Once again, probably not. but you wanna know something? I need someone to talk to. I don't really know what's wrong with me. But I need a cry. Or just that one person who will say to me 'Talk to me. I can help'.

I doubt I'll get that until I ask.

Yours in regret,

Hannah xxx

Been a while.

Hello

Well hello there, stranger ;)

so it's been a while since I last wrote i think.. maybe a few days. But nothing really interesting has happened. It's still the same now.

I'm basically writing to you as a friend. I don't know which of my friends will read this, but hey.

I'm fed up. Fed up with school, with family, with arguments tbh. 

The day after connor tells me we won't argue anymore, he creates an argument.

School is stressing me out - I hate it. I used to LOVE english, but now i hate it. It's stupid, I know, but writing in English used to keep me happy. Now it's total shit, it gets me pissed off, and I know it's silly, but it's shite.

My grandfather has stopped writing to me. AGAIN.

and I don't know why.

Yours with bleughness,

Hannah xxx

My wonderful boyfriend :)

Hello

Connor's perfect. Absolutely wonderful. He knows we argue too much and is going to try and change that. I'm so glad - I hate arguing with him :/

I'm so lucky, you know? :)

Yours with lots and lots of love,

Hannah xxx

Ill

Hello

So I'm lying here on the sofa, on a school day. Yes, I'm ill. But it's not your usual feeling sick, or headache. Although I DID use that excuse to phone the school, as my mother suggested.

I don't really want to write about what my 'problem' is. It's girly stuff, but not period pains, although I am getting some very painful ones at this current moment. :/

But it's all okay, because Connor and I didn't argue last night (!) and we've been good ever since. I don't know if I'm going back to school tomorrow, but if I am, I'm meeting him afterwards, and if I'm not going back tomorrow, he's gonna drop by anyway. (I might beg for a bar of choccy - living off tomato soup is not the best thing in the world, believe it or not!)

I'm a bit confused as to what this 'problem' is. I've been given this pack thing which my mum got from the chemist, but I don't think it's the right kind of problem tbh...

Anyway, I'm off to watch telly :)

Yours in pain and confusion,

Hannah xxx

Argument after argument after argument...

Hello

I'm getting rather fed up with it, to be completely honest. I love Connor and all that, but we argue FAR too much, it's just annoying.

Know what else? Beka Pannell wrote about how her boyfriend was being all romantic, and buying her stuff and bought her flowers etc, and it got me thinking... Connor has never bought me flowers. She goes to me in English today, 'what was the last thing connor bought you?' and I had no idea. She said 'Chris buys me loads of stuff all the time!' I said, 'yeah Connor does when he has money, but he hasn't got a job atm.' She goes, 'yeah well boyfriends should always be able to afford a simple bouquet of flowers for his girlfriend'.

To be honest, she's right :/

Yours in confusion,

Hannah xxx

School. Again.

Hello

School tomorrow.

Bollocks.

Yours with bollocks,

Hannah xxx