who am i kidding?

Hello

I'm in a bad mood.
not with anyone in particular, although it did all steam from my parents buying everyone else curry and not me, even though i did ask VERY nicely.
i'm also taking out my bad mood on Connor. I shouldn't. but i am.
I love him, but we're 2 kids sharing some stupid dream about having a future together. we both want it to happen, but we don't have anything to work with. Neither of us have a job so we can't afford rent on a flat, my parents don't want me having sex till i'm 17 (as my dad talked to be about earlier) and we'd argue all the time.
I told him all of this in text tonight, just now, actually. and he argued and said that we WOULD have a life together. and I said no we wouldn't. I'd end up staying with my parents until i'm 60 because no one would want a fat, ugly whore, who lost her virginity too early. I'd also end up working in sainbury's.
I just don't think Connor understands how much I rely on him. For example, today, he should have offered to ring me. but he didn't. He just allowed me to go to bed with just saying 'Night xxx'. I would have offered to ring him had he been like that with me. He hasn't quite grasped what it's like for me - I'm a teenage girl in a serious relationship. It's stressful and I have a lot of work to do atm. I love him, but he needs to help me! All i wanted was a phone call for goodness' sake!
He won't even read this, so he'll still be in a mood with me in the morning because I've ruined the dream that we shared, and he can't even read the reasons why i'm in a bad mood. it's not with him. i just fecking hate life atm.
It's not my fault. I just can't believe something that I know can't happen in the state that things are in.

so, until tomorrow. or some later date,

Yours with badmoodness,
Hannah xxx